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Custody Evaluations:
The Private War©
by
Rose L. Hubbard, Attorney
Jay Richardson, Attorney
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I can’t believe she said that about me. Clearly, she is the one who is nuts. If these two sentences remind you of your current custody situation, then you are not alone... |
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Very few events in life impact parents as much as getting divorced and watching the divorce change their relationship with their child. |
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After you decide to have a custody evaluation, the next question is who should be hired?...The list of credible evaluators is usually very short. |
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This whole child custody evaluation is about the CHILD. Parents are in an extremely difficult position when deciding what to tell their children. |
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An evaluation is an opportunity to give a great deal of information to a neutral person, who can then process it and make recommendations to the court. The more organized and prepared you are, the more relevant information you will be able to give to the evaluator, and the more likely that the facts and factors you believe to be important in the parenting plan for your children will be taken into account. |
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If you are investing the time and money into the custody evaluation process, you risk all of your investment if you don’t use the services of an experienced attorney that you work well with. |
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When you and your spouse are the only people who have first-hand information, it is often really hard to get over the “he said-she said” barrier. Collateral sources, depending upon what information they have to give, may be important in establishing facts that ultimately lead to the recommendation on custody and parenting time. |
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Used appropriately, test results should converge with the clinical interview information. If the test results do not converge with the subjective data, the evaluator may ask additional questions to understand why the test results and the subjective data are inconsistent. |
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Having a personality disorder or a “high conflict personality” is significantly different than “normal conflict.” If your spouse is frequently and significantly involved in ‘the problem,’ then you may not be experiencing normal conflict. |
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Sometimes, a big wave rears up and knocks you and your fellow swimmers to the ground and, worse, carries you out into the surf. Those waves are called “sneaker waves” for obvious reasons: they sneak up on you and knock you down. Had you seen the wave coming, you would have been prepared. Sneaker issues in custody evaluations are issues that, like sneaker waves, surprise you or your spouse or ex-spouse. |
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Living with the Decision |
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The options that might happen while you are in court are as infinite as there are individual judges, attorneys and cases. However, hopefully if you know generally what might happen, you are better able to make decisions as to whether you want to go to court, or even decisions that you are making or your attorney is making for you, in the court process. |
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If at all possible, you do want to have that moment in your life where your child thanks you for being a great parent through difficult circumstances, and how your handle your custody and parenting plan is what makes that happen. |
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